My experience is that it is hard for you to sort out their problems in your own relationship on your own because it is hard, if not
impossible, to be part of the problem that they are trying to resolve. You can easily become attached to your own perception of what the problem is which can blinker you, making it hard to be objective in your perception of the problem and the possibilities for developing a solution. It makes it easy to put all of the blame for the problem on the other person which creates a barrier to finding a solution.
People often come to counselling knowing that something is wrong but with no clear perspective of what the underlying problem might be, let alone how it can be resolved. This is where the experience of a relationship counsellor comes in.
As a relationship counsellor, I am not part of the problem but I can be part of the solution. I can look at the problem from outside of the goldfish bowl of the relationship so I am uniquely placed to give you an unbiased and independent perspective. This is often what will make the difference in trying to overcome your problem and find a way forward.
Relationships come, as I frequently say, in all ‘shapes and sizes’. I work whatever type of relationship you present.
Couples have come to me for help when:
- There are constant arguments
- They are struggling with the pain of an affair
- Trust has been lost
- One person feels controlled by the other
- Intimacy has all but disappeared
- The couple don’t seem to talk any more
- One person has fallen out of love with the other
- There is anger between the two people
- Communication has broken down
- There is a lack of intimacy or affection
- There are irreconcilable differences over the sharing of domestic duties
‘We give you credit for saving our marriage. Three years ago, we reached our thirty-fifth wedding anniversary. My husband and I weren’t even speaking to each other. The anniversary passed without a word between us. You created a safe and calm space for us to talk honestly to each other and clear up issues. What really helped was your observation that we shared a wonderful sense of humour. You helped us to realise that we really did have something worth saving’.
Chris and Debbie
‘We want to express our sincere thanks for the help, support and encouragement you have given us. Our marriage was in real trouble and we both thought that we had reached the end but you have helped us to bring it back to life. We really feel that we are a couple again and we are looking ahead to a future together. This would not have been possible without your help’.
Jin and Gabinder
‘The counselling really helped us get our relationship back on track. Your input into that was key. It was really good to have some solid, practical and unbiased advice to help us kick start things. We took your advice and are committed to putting the effort and time into making it work. Our relationship is not only back on track but better than ever. Thanks for all your great work’.
Rajinder & Santosh
‘Our counselling with you has really helped us communicate so much better with each other. We now have the confidence to say what we really want to say but we do so with care for the other person. We more readily open up and share our true feelings. We still have disagreements but they no longer turn into full blown arguments. Our relationship is so much stronger. We cannot thank you enough for your amazing patience, help and encouragement.’
Rebecca to Denise